Democrats’ New ‘Resistance’: From Fiery Protests to Polite Letters?
Well, folks, it seems the Democratic Party is trading in their protest signs for stationery. Remember the days of ‘Not My President’ chants and pink hats? Those were the times when the Left’s resistance to Donald Trump was as loud as a foghorn in the dead of night. Fast forward to today, and the strategy […]
Trump’s ‘Execution Revival Tour’: Bringing Back Law and Order, One Lethal Injection at a Time
In a move that has the liberal media clutching their pearls, President-elect Donald Trump has announced his intention to reinstate federal executions, following President Joe Biden’s recent commutation of 37 federal death row inmates’ sentences to life imprisonment without parole. Trump’s declaration, delivered with his characteristic flair, promises to ‘vigorously pursue the death penalty’ for […]
Public Education’s Post-Pandemic Plunge: Who Could Have Predicted?
In a development that surprises absolutely no one paying attention, public education test scores have taken a nosedive following the COVID-19 pandemic. Yes, the same institutions that brought you prolonged school closures and remote ‘learning’ are now scratching their heads over declining student performance. Who could have seen this coming? According to the National Center […]
Trump’s TikTok Tango: From ‘Ban It’ to ‘Keep This Sucker Around’
In a plot twist that could make a soap opera writer blush, President-elect Donald Trump has done a 180-degree pirouette on TikTok. Remember when he was all about banning the app faster than you can say ‘China’? Well, hold onto your smartphones, because now he’s suggesting we ‘keep this sucker around for a little while.’ […]
Trump’s Greenland Gambit: A Real Estate Deal to Ice the Competition
In a move that has left geopolitical analysts and late-night comedians equally bemused, President-elect Donald Trump has once again floated the idea of the United States purchasing Greenland. Yes, you heard that right—the world’s largest island, currently an autonomous territory of Denmark, is back on the real estate market, at least in Trump’s mind. Announcing […]
Biden’s Latest Student Debt ‘Magic Trick’: Now You See $4.28 Billion, Now Taxpayers Don’t
In a move that surprises absolutely no one, President Joe Biden has once again dipped into the nation’s coffers to forgive student loans—this time to the tune of $4.28 billion. Nearly 55,000 public service workers are the lucky recipients of this financial windfall, bringing the administration’s total student debt forgiveness to a staggering $180 billion. […]
Trump Quashes ‘President Musk’ Rumors: ‘He’s Not Going to Be President’
In a political landscape where reality often outpaces satire, President-elect Donald Trump has addressed the burgeoning speculation that Elon Musk, the tech mogul and his recent appointee, is the de facto leader of the free world. Speaking at the Turning Point USA’s AmericaFest conference in Phoenix, Trump quipped, ‘All the different hoaxes, and the new […]
Trump’s Bold Stand Against the Tyranny of Time: A Call to End Daylight Saving Madness
Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves: President-elect Donald Trump has declared war on that biannual nuisance known as daylight saving time. Yes, the man who brought us ‘You’re fired!’ now sets his sights on firing the outdated practice of clock-changing. In a recent Truth Social post, Trump labeled daylight saving time ‘inconvenient’ and ‘very costly to […]
New Trade Deal Promises Export Boom: Will American Goods Finally Get Their Day in the Sun?
In a move that has trade enthusiasts and skeptics alike raising their eyebrows, the United States has inked a new international trade agreement aimed at boosting American exports. Yes, you heard that right. After years of political grandstanding and economic hand-wringing, it seems our leaders have decided that selling more ‘Made in USA’ products abroad […]
Trump’s FBI Shake-Up: Kash Patel Poised to Take the Helm as Wray Bows Out
In a move that has Washington’s political class buzzing, President-elect Donald Trump has nominated Kash Patel to succeed Christopher Wray as Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Patel, a figure known for his unwavering loyalty to Trump and his critical stance toward the FBI’s previous leadership, is set to bring a seismic shift to […]
Global Warming: The EU’s Latest Climate Alarmism Hits a Fever Pitch
In a startling announcement that has undoubtedly reverberated through the halls of Brussels, the European Union’s Copernicus Climate Change Service has declared 2024 the hottest year on record. Yes, that’s correct: the hottest year ever recorded since data collection began. According to these climate experts, global temperatures have reached unprecedented levels, exceeding the alarming threshold […]
ABC News Forks Over $15 Million to Trump: When ‘Oops’ Costs a Fortune
In a turn of events that could make even the most seasoned news anchor break into a sweat, ABC News has agreed to a $15 million settlement with President-elect Donald Trump. The reason? A slip of the tongue by none other than George Stephanopoulos, who inaccurately stated that Trump had been found liable for ‘rape’ […]
Trump’s Birthright Citizenship Gambit: Can He Rewrite the Constitution with a Pen?
In a move that’s sure to ignite both applause and outrage, President-elect Donald Trump has once again set his sights on ending birthright citizenship. Yes, you heard that right. The man who brought us ‘You’re fired!’ now wants to tell newborns, ‘You’re deported!’ But can he actually pull it off? Let’s dive into this constitutional […]
Congressional Clown Car Crashes Again: Government Shutdown Imminent
Well, folks, here we are again—another day, another display of congressional incompetence. The House of Representatives, in its infinite wisdom, has failed to pass the latest Continuing Resolution (CR) to fund the government. You know, the basic function they’re elected to perform. As a result, we’re staring down the barrel of yet another government shutdown. […]
Judicial Juggling: Congress Plays Politics with New Judgeships, Biden Cries Foul
In a political drama that could rival any courtroom thriller, the U.S. House of Representatives has passed a bill to add 66 new federal judgeships—the first major expansion since 1990. The bipartisan legislation, known as the JUDGES Act, aims to address the growing backlog in federal courts by creating new district court positions over the […]